If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
