Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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