i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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