Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
