Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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