I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
