Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
