Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
