eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
