You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
