I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
