yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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