i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
