Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
