you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
