3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
