I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
