He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
