There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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