Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
