Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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