My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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