people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
