I heard we made out
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
did i walk over a car last night?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
