Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
