Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
