I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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