I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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