suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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