I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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