her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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