ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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