Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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