I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
