3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
