honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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