i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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