Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
