Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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