i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
