I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
