Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need a beard to bite.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
