he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
