you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
