God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
