Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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