Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize