remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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