My friends, they love my intelligence
He kissed a someone with a penis
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
