so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
