How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
