Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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