She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
