I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
