he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
